Stan.

Remember that (superamazingoneofthelastgreatsongsheeverproduced) Eminem/ Dido collabo, Stan? About the crazy stalker fan? Well:

There’s this character on Twitter who goes by the pseudonym Numba2fan, who is on some other … ! This person is running a game of ‘exposion’, much like that pop culture split second known as Joburg’s Most Notorious Ho’s (remember that?).

Numba2fan has been active on Twitter since 18 November, and only has 43 followers (at this moment), but has already managed to pick some Twitbeef with fashionista and socialite Uyanda Mbuli.

Some of Numba2fan’s greatest hits:

- [In reference to Bonang Matheba] Well shame but @bonang looked pretty last night, Shooo but “THE LEGS”!!! Naw, u need surgery. they are so NOT hott!! #thetruth

- [Refering to Uyanda] Gee, @uyandam ‘s RURAL cum FAKE accent shocked us today on VUZU! Advice – Spend more money on English lessons & less on Brands! Blacks!!

- [Model Precious Makgaretsa also gets trashed and Khanyi's name is brought into it] We wonda if @preshmak is still missing Eric! We thot u should know that @therealmissk is after ur ex-fiancee – for obvious reasons – CASH!

- [Precious and Babalwa Mneno] OH! @preshmak, But this ERIC also seems to be back with his ex & ur dear mentor cum friend @barbiliscious! Do u still miss him? Kisses!

- [Bonang and DJ Euphonik] We miss @bonang with those hilarious legs. We wonder if she is missing her secret lover @euphonik??!! LOL!! NOT ANYMORE

- [Miss Mbau] We discovered that @therealmissk offered her pussy to get VIP seats at an award show… HOW CHEAP IS THAT?! N.B -don ever try deny this one!

- [Nonhle Thema and Precious - again] We LV @nonhlethema, nys smile! BUT we hear she also does THOSE trips to NIGERIA, @preshmak knows exactly wat tht means, right SEXY?? *winks*

Now some of these ‘rumours’ aren’t just rumours – they’re pretty much open secrets… But obvi it’s about figuring out which ones are true, which aren’t. I wonder, though, how long it’ll take Numba2fan to go the same way as the Notorious Ho creators – that is, to fade into obscurity…

‘Joelle is a liar’ – Alleged Insider

An alleged insider has come forward, claiming Joelle is a liar.

The plot, she thickens.

So, a very knowledgeable commenter (or so she claims), has come forward to give us some insight into this whole Joelle vs Bongani mess.

According to the commenter, who is called ‘Real Talk’, Miss Joelle Kayembe isn’t quite what she seems. Real Talk says the relationship between Bongani and the supermodel ended a year ago, but Joelle’s keen to get some money out of it.

Here is the crux:

All I can tell you is that Joelle is a liar, made all those things up to destroy the Bongani’s image. She knows very well that Mbindwane values his privacy & personal life , so she knew this would destroy him personally and his image. She is going on about how this is not about money but rather about how she had a life before Mbindwane & is now fighting to get it back. If that was the case she would have left quietly (No crazy demands) gone back to stay at the cottage she rented & asked for her job back at Jenny Button (sales lady) returned the car that he bought her on her birthday (not the Q5 a mini cooper), returned all the designer clothes & shoes ( she didn’t have any before him). She was never abused… People are going on as if this happened last month or something, these two broke up last year…Wanna know why she was quite all this time? They were trying to get back together & things turned sour when she realized Mbindwane was no longer interested.

She is a cool girl, don’t know what came over her, it could be pressure from friends cause the Joelle I know would never do something like this ( unless she has been pretending to be someone else all this time) and this “ I KILLED YOUR BABY AND YOU ARE GONNA PAY ME FOR IT” attitude is just not her. She needs help & serious help. She is NO conniving bitch but she just isn’t the victim in this case.

Ooooweee. This just gets deeper and deeper.

Pic via.

Talk about dramz!

Supermodel Joelle Kayembe

One of my favourite beautiful people, Joelle Kayembe, has been involved in some drama of note. She’s splitting from the man she says is her husband – Platfields Limited CEO Bongani Mbindwane. She’s asking for maintenance, and he says they weren’t even legally married in the first place. He claims she had an abortion without informing him. She says he assaulted her. Cars were damaged, clothes were bleached. Phew! Bottom line: it’s he says, she says. It’s also their personal business.

One thing that bothers me about all the coverage, though, is some of the comments calling her a ‘gold digger’ (um, isn’t she from a wealthy family to begin with?) and slagging her off for having an abortion (which, in case people don’t remember, is perfectly legal in South Africa), yet no one says: ‘Wait a minute, this guy assaulted her? Not cool’. She also alleges he cheated on her and she caught him with another woman. But we’re experts at blaming women.

But I doubt Joelle’s professional reputation will suffer. She’s one of the country’s hottest properties and she’s a true professional. [Side note: even Kanye West is an admirer]. I wonder how she’s holding up, though.

Read about all the drama here and here.