Event: Peroni Café launch
Venue: Nelson Mandela Square, Sandton
Italy came to Sandton last night – or that was the thinking – at the Peroni Café launch. The do itself wasn’t anything too exciting, but the company more than made up for it (met some cool new people and chilled with some good friends).
From what I could gather, this Peroni Café is like a temporary bar/ restaurant that’s been set up for summer. It’s actually quite pretty – decorated in white. They’ll also be doing all sorts of Italian-ish things there, such as screening well-known Italian movies. The night kicked off with a fashion show, featuring a few amateur models wearing Italian designer clothes. Thereafter, it was all about eating, drinking and being merry.
There was a little lotsa drama, though, but I didn’t let them spoil my evening:
Guests who arrived early received two free drinks tokens, while those who arrived slightly later didn’t receive any because they’d apparently ran out. Now, this doesn’t make any sense. The event was meant to be by invite only, so surely they knew exactly how many people to expect and could plan around this number? Or they could just have ‘fessed up and told us that times are tough. So those who didn’t receive any tokens had to pay for their drinks in – gasp – cash.
Our table had the misfortune of finding a worm – yes, a worm – in our snack platter. To be fair, management was beyond apologetic about it. We also weren’t hating the little wriggly thing because it meant that we were very well taken care of for the rest of the night. Memo to self: start carrying a little worm around in a zip lock bag to dispense at will. Okay, I kid, I kid!
Our table also had the double misfortune of being the object of harassment by a very obnoxious guy who claims to work for the Sunday Times. First, he pissed off our table (of journos) by introducing himself as ‘I’m [name redacted], from the Sunday Times. But I’m not a journalist’ – saying the word as if it were an STD.
I ended up having a really stooopid exchange with him that went a little something like this:
Me: <applying lip balm>
Obnoxious guy: <readying to dip his finger into my lip balm jar. No, not like that. Get your mind out of the gutter. I meant, literally.> Can’t I get some?
Me: Sorry, but no. You weren’t invited to stick your fingers into my lip balm. I find that very unhygienic.
OG: Oh. You know, I can see you don’t like sharing. I worked at the Men’s Clinic and I know women like you. You won’t even share lip balm, it shows me that you won’t share other things
Me: huh?
OG: I can see, you don’t like sex
Me: <giving him the standard WTF face> Well, I’m glad you figured that out quickly, so we didn’t have to go through all the rigmarole beforehand. Now you know.
OG: You see, that’s why I like white women <pointing to Gina sitting next to me>.
Me: <sarcasm> Me too!
OG <gesturing to Gina > Is she your girlfriend?
Me <nodding>
OG: I don’t have a problem with that. Why don’t you kiss each other?
Me: <speaking to him, Gina and Mokgadi> That’s so out of line. Why do men think that women are only around to put on exhibitions for them and their entertainment?
OG: That’s not what I said. This is a conversation between me and you
Me: Well, I’ve just opened it up to the rest of the table
OG: You know, you don’t have to try so hard to show you’re independent. Everyone can see that. <standing up> You can be vulnerable, you know. It’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes.
Cue raucous laughter from the table. End scene.
The next incident involved one of those trying- too-hard-to-be-quirky-and-different girls (I know that type well, I’m from Cape Town). A friend of Emma’s, she wouldn’t leave our table, acting like a de-cracked Amy Winehouse (she’s English), drinking our drinks, kissing us sloppily, trying to make out with Kemong … and then, she proceeds to knock an entire beer all over my pretty high-waisted skirt/ black embroidered vest/ trench coat/ gran’s vintage leather bag ensemble. I almost lost it – and she wouldn’t get out of my face about it – but thank God sanity prevailed.
Celebs sighted: There weren’t that many. I suspect all the bold names and A-listers had already left for Cape Town for today’s Met. Lungile Radu (Rhythm City), Clint Brink (Scandal) and Lorcia Cooper (Scandal) were there looking fab. Liezl van der Westhuizen also made an appearance – I’m so glad to finally see a tall schleb because it seems everyone’s sooo short here in Jozi. She left quite early, though. Jeannie D (Top Billing) looked absolutely stunning. She’s lost a fair amount of weight, but doesn’t look scarily skinny. First time I’ve seen her MC anything, and sure ’nuff she brought that trademark Top Billing cheese, but hey, whatever, girl gets paid to party. Caught a glimpse of oldie-but-goodie Paul Phume when I entered – he’s still got it. On the way, ran into Malcolm X – he of the Mandla Mthembu death threats/ Khanyi Mbau domestic abuse claims – who didn’t waste time delivering some or other cheesy and unmemorable line.
Say what?